The more idealistic of the two. The weaker of the two. Although, in reality, both of them were weak. Gohan had been tired for years. But he had to channel the little inner strength. The shoulder that Trunks could cry on. And if he faded away, Trunks would have no one. Alone and helpless. Probably, that’s why Gohan had always cared for Trunks.
Suddenly, Gohan was no longer the child, Goku’s little son. Gohan was the oldest, the strongest, the one who always knew more about everything. The wise one. The teacher. He was very tired, and Trunks was also very tired, but Gohan had to teach Trunks not to be consumed by that. If he tried, if he tried very hard, Gohan could smile when Trunks did something nice.
/ / /
“ I don’t think that piece of paper will work. Do you think the machine is still on? I can see the lights.”
His voice was soft. Gohan could hear it from beyond. Gohan’s voice had also once been soft. It seemed like another world now. Probably, it was another world.
/ / /
Time passed. And passed and passed and passed. Gohan kept wearing Goku’s gi and would sew it back together every time it tore. It stopped being like Goku and started to be like small pieces of concrete that got into his nose and stuck to his lips. But he still wore the gi.
/ / /
He took a piece of concrete and drew a heart on the ground, but when he came back later, it had disappeared. And he kept cutting his hair. But it never looked like Goku’s hair. Still, Trunks would smile at him. He’d give a thumbs up every time Gohan cut his hair the same way as always. And Gohan would cut Trunks’ hair, but then not. Trunks had seen a magazine somewhere and wanted to have the same haircut as the boy in it. Gohan would give him a thumbs up and push his hair out of his eyes. And his eyes would shine and get bigger and bigger. They were almost always sad. But they shone. Only when Gohan could smile.
/ / /
“I have another, this time the machine will definitely work.”
But the machine doesn’t work, and they just break the glass. Trunks chuckled.
“We’re going to jail,” says Gohan, and they take the stuffed ducks.
\ \ \
Gohan wondered if Trunks still had that little thing. It was a very strange thing. It must’ve been from some cartoon. He never really had time for cartoons. But when Gohan went to Trunks, Trunks pointed his sword at him. He no longer cut his hair the same way.
“You abandoned me. You didn’t choose me. I didn’t choose you. By chance, we ended up surviving next to each other .”
And his shoulder hurts.
“I love you.”
His hair turns golden, and they hit each other in the face.
“I didn’t know you were tired, if I had known, I would have shown you that I was too. But something I did know was that I was scared. I’m scared. Do you still love me now that the world is fine? But the world was fine for me only for a few minutes each year. And now it’s not.”
Because they hug, but they’re no longer parts of the same mechanism. It doesn’t fit. It always shifts to one side. Trunks is lying on the sand, wondering where love comes from. The upper lip is bleeding, and ‘ I never really liked weakness’. He was everything to him. And that was everything to him.
/ / /
He must know who he is. He must stop repeating the same thought over and over in his head. It’s the same gi, it’s the same haircut, it’s the same Gohan, and his voice doesn’t sound the same anymore because he’s grown, but he never could grow normally, like a plant under a low ceiling that grows with its stem bent and never really knew the sun. Below, there’s an ant trying to carry a stone.
\ \ \
”I must rebuild this world in your name,” he tells the wind, and the wind answers, “I never really knew your name.”
/ / /
Then one leaves, and the other too, in opposite directions, and they don’t meet along the way. Obviously, because they’re going in opposite directions. He was very tired and really never knew much about anything. Now, he had to learn.
“I will always love you because I’ve always known you, and when I stopped knowing you, we ended up in the same place. And I chose you again.”
/ / /
Then they start over, like the heart he drew on the ground. The outline faded away, but the ground knew that a heart had been drawn there. If you look very closely, you can still see it. You can also see the ants.
”You like ants, right?”
It’s those little things that prevent one from fading away. That’s what he was thinking when he was lying on the ground with his eyebrow broken. The Saiyans fight. The humans feel. The hybrids are confused.
He tells him: ” Let’s stop fighting and go do what you want, go learn, and I’ll go see who’s there in the mirror.”
\ \ \
Then they’re eating something with lots of cheese.
“Do you think that piece of paper will work?”
“I don’t know, at least we have this .”
And he asks Gohan what death is like.
“Ah, well, I never had time for cartoons, and I don’t know why the stuffed toy looks like that, I just know how your hands look when you hold it and how my dad’s closed eyes look.”
“The other death, not that one.”
“Ah, well, I can hear your voice, but from very far away.”
Trunks’ voice had stopped being soft, and it had happened to him too. Yes, that’s death.
“And life? You surely know what it’s like,” Gohan asks.
There are things that never change.
“Ah, well, I think I can be strong, and I can choose you, and that makes me strong. And you can cry and be tired, it won’t kill you. Because the only thing that never changed in this world is that I love you.”